THE GNOB - Tyrannosaurus Rex no longer king of the jungle?????

By Dr. Rick Chatham.

12.11.10 - Devon, Devonshire

Last week, a strange gnarled shaft was discovered in the great British countryside. At this point, baffled experts have been unable to determine if it is organic in nature, or simply a badly shaped rock. But consensus agrees that if it is organic, it is very likely a petrified pre-historic penis. A perfectly preserved crown jewel of the age of the dinosaurs.

The object, which is codenamed, the Gnob, is larger than any recorded penis known to man, standing at two feet tall, apparently flaccid.

If the Gnob truly did once belong to a living creature, it would be the largest creature known to man, at least ten times the size of Downing Street.

At this time, Richard Dawkins has not yet commented on the Gnob.

MERLIN TO STOP BEING AWFUL.

By Django This.
08.11.10 - London, Greater London





Today the Daily Lyes received an onymous phone call supplying proof of identification by mouth that the caller was in fact the assistant director for BBC's Merlin, and he subtly hinted by means of explicit statement, that if the television industry economy keeps going the way it is, then Merlin is going to stop being awful.

Merlin started being awful in 2008. So many people tuned in to be disappointed when their rich cultural and historical history was rambled out before them in the fashion of Twilight fan-fiction, that the BBC were more than proud to commision a second and third series.

Our sources say that Merlin is going to start being good with new actors set to take over the cast. Actors who have cheek bones, such as Sean Connery and other fine talents.

(No picture available.)

Our sources are excited for this new dignity. "It's going to be static television . It's going to reach the closest television sets first, like lightning." Said one television executive.

Tirading its way through Arthurian mythology, throwing away vital and timeless ideas with no exchange for good or new storytelling, and bringing the whole family to the television with nothing to scare children or intrigue adults, Merlin is the bastard child of Doctor Who and actual Arthurian Legend. One which it pretends to be similar to, the other which it isn't similar to.

The Merlin Series finale is set to broadcast this saturday.

This week, Django watched Day of the Dead. "Let's face it, Bob
the zombie was clearly the main character."

EPIC FINALE SEES THE SOURCE OF LIFE UNDER WALFORD.

By Django This
01.11.10 - London, Greater London





Eastenders is slagging into an autoterrific finale soon, that will see Phil Mitchell become the protector of the East End, and a magic mystery dog guides the entire cast to a magic light underneath Walford




This week, Django dished it out under the frog belt.